A Taxicon's Life
by DaLadyofSouls
Summary: AU: Soundwave saves the sparks of a group of disabled Decepticon veterans by using them to create an intelligence network on Earth. This is their story. Contains cussing and dysfunctional relationships. Story is better than the summary, sorry.
1. Gender Bender Fender Bender

**Disclaimer:** Transformers is owned by Hasbro and it's related companies. No profit is being made off this story its just for fun. I only own my plot and my oc's. This is a work of fiction, and any similarities to persons living or dead is unintentional. Nissan own the rights to the NV200 taxis mentioned in the story.

 **Author's Note:** This story is a mixture of Prime and the movieverse, with little bits of G1, RiD etc added where needed to make sense. Apollo is my own OC.

~000~

"Whatcha mean we're out of coupons?" Apollo groaned, as he rubbed his tired face plates, as he hunted his oversized desk for the large plastic box he kept the supplies stationery in.

He found the correct box, and after placing next to the human sized desk upon his desk, he shifted back into his alt-mode and materized his holoform. His second-in-command, a Mobility Taxi dubbed Tony, sat himself at Apollo's con-sized desk to continue their conversation.

"Steve used up the last one, after Greg upset a customer. They were threatening to sue. You know we don't want the humans to get wise to us. Its bad enough trying to hide our little side enterprise from Megatron." Tony told his tired leader.

"Megatron knows...kinda..." Apollo replied, writing down an order for new coupon books. "Officially, we're on a mission from Soundwave to do planetside reconnaissance. That our chosen cover enables us to make local currency, simply means we can bribe Knockout into not dissecting us. After all, we are his main suppliers of contraband waxes!"

The other vehicons in the oversized taxi garage laughed at this. It had been a pleasant duty to take the bright yellow and white Nissan NV200 Universal Design Taxis (UDT's). There was a team of fifty vehicons serving the town, quietly gathering intelligence from the town's well-to do humans. Well, forty regular UDTs and ten overworked NV200 Mobility Taxi's.

All the vehicons in the unit had been fitted with hardlight holoforms, and given every bit of human cultural data Knockout had been able to find. The result was a taxi company whose staff were almost indistinguishable from their human counterparts.

With the exception of Megatron's nephew Apollo Pax, the rest of the vehicons in the unit were too badly disabled to serve on the front lines anymore. Instead of scrapping them, Soundwave had proposed using them to increase his spy network. As long as their alt-modes were servicable, it didn't matter if they couldn't run or were missing servos or pedes. While most decepticons were wary of the silent Mech, the Taxicons quietly regarded him as their messiah.

"Speaking of Doc Knock, could you remind him that we only have so much capacity to store his contraband in our altmodes. That is, if he doesn't want to have to explain to Lord Megatron why were are acting as his personal courier service." Tony grumbled, as he inspected a case of _Extra-cut Cutting Creme_ that he pulled from his subspace. "You might want to suggest he fits us with bigger subspaces."

Apollo grinned at his best friend, a twinkle of mischief in his holoform's tired eyes, "I could probably ask him to give some of the team female holoforms while I'm at it."

"What! Whatever for?!" Tony looked horrified.

"Some of our customers prefer using a female taxi driver after dark. I'm thinking one Mobility Taxi and four UDT's as female." Apollo ducked his head, though Tony could clearly see his shoulders shaking with mirth.

"I hope thats just a sick joke." Tony replied, clearly disgruntled.

"Fraid not. But I'll take volunteers...or maybe I'll just take the next five who upset the customers..." Apollo let the threat hang in the air, as he got his mirth under control.

The room fell silent as the remaining vehicons looked at their leader in horror.

Tony was saved from having to reply, when Rudy on dispatch duty, hollered out that he had a pick up on the other side of town. All the remaining vehicon's quickly found excuses to leave HQ, some returning to the Nemesis via groundbridge for their recharge cycle, others heading out in to the night to look for fares.

~000~

For the next three days service to their human customers went from strength to strength, as none of the vehicons wanted to be turned into femmes. Finally though, in true decepticon fashion someone slipped up.

Apollo had to field an angry phonecall from the Jasper General Hospital in the neighbouring town of Jasper. After telling the Hospital Manager he would investigate, he called in the offender.

~000~

Tony sheepishly slunk into Apollo's Office with his head down. "Sorry about the hospital incident, but that Autoscum two-wheeler showed up, I had to take evasive action or risk getting our cover blown."

"Well that sucks to be you doesn't it. Good work on the evasion though, and congratulations on your sex change!" Apollo grinned at his long time friend.

"No! Please for the love of the Unmaker don't do this!" Tony's terror could be heard though the office walls.

Outside, in the main area, the other cons were getting anxious. Apollo was known as a fair commander, dedicated to the true ideals of the old Decepticon way. However he could be ruthless when required, to achieve his missions.

A few more minutes later both mechs came out, damage noticeably absent from Tony's frame.

"Please congratulate our soon to be femme 'Antonia' joining the company!" Apollo annouced.

Everyone could see the mirth in his optics as he prodded a deeply reluctant Tony along towards the groundbridge. Once the pair were gone, everyone started to speculate and chatter about the changes.

"Do think Apollo will finally ask him on a date once Tony is a femme?" Greg asked David cheekily.

"Prime's sons don't date, and no Decepticon wants Megatron for an uncle-in-law." David replied.

"I never understood why Apollo left the Autoscum," Eddie put his two credits worth into the conversation.

"He left when Breakdown did. He helped Breakdown defect from the Bots to the Cons," David was about to say more when Rudy shouted at him for a pickup at the Jasper Hospital.

"Watch out for autobots David, unless you want to be Antonia's little sister instead of younger brother!" Greg hollered playfully.

"You can braid my helm cables, since you are the most likely to upset a customer and share Tony's fate." David snidely reminded Greg.

David rolled out, and the others went back to business as usual. They were getting a lot more calls from Jasper lately, as their neighbouring town of Jasper lacked a taxi service of its own, after a hacker (ie Soundwave) completely bankrupted the last taxi company there.

Apollo had decided to base the team in this town rather than Jasper, as Jasper was often crawling with Autobots. From here they could keep surveillance on Jasper and the Autobots human allies, without having the Autobots any wiser to their activites.

The Autobots always expected them to be loud and violent in their activities, but the seemed to forget they were callled _'Deceptive Constructions'_ for a reason. The amount to stuff they actually managed to slip past the Autobots was astounding. Soundwave had at least four pretenders, on placements within various parts of Earth's governments for the past two years.

Okay, so maybe Megatron didn't know about those, but the big boss was notoriously impulsive, The Cause wouldn't have survived all these vorns if Soundwave didn't work in the background to hold everything together. He often had to do stuff behind Megatron's back, or risk their loud leader tipping off his brother, the Prime to their activities. Megatron accepted this grudgingly, even though he trusted Soundwave with his spark.

~000~

Rudy looked disappointed when Tony returned to HQ looking the same way he left. The silent glare he was giving Apollo showed that the operation was a sucess though.

"Well come on _Toni_ , show us!" Rudy impatiently called, before switching his headset on, to take another customer call.

"Fine!" A delicate sounding feminine voice came from the unusually grumpy male Decepticon, instead of his usual gruff tenor.

Tony transformed back to his altmode, then materialized a gorgeous, willowy blonde with rich warm brown eyes. Her uniform was pulling in all the right places to send human males awash with lust. To Rudy though, it just looked like Doc Knock had programmed the uniform too small for her holoform's frame.

"Doc Knock skimping on holoform clothes now?" Rudy asked, before telling another Taxicon, Joshua where his pickup was.

"I think he's been watching too many trashy B-Grade horror movies at the Jasper Drive-in. Some human mech is gonna try something, and I'm going to have to kill him and hide the body...or something..." Tony said in his new feminine voice, " I just wish I could change back to my own voice when I wanted to. I practically squeak when I talk now!"

"Doc thought it was quite cute, besides you are going to be picking up timid human femmes, not overcharged human mechs." Apollo helpfully pointed out. "Just be grateful your voice and holoform were all Knockout changed. If he'd turned you into an ACTUAL femme, you'd be fending off most of the mechs on the Nemesis as well."

"Arggggh!" Tony screamed in frustration, before checking his chronometer for the time and heading off for the usual daily school run.

~000~

Tony's rotten day went from bad to worse, when some of the mentally handicapped children started crying when they saw his new holoform. It took the teacher nearly half an Earth hour to calm them down enough that he could take them home. It made him late for all his other pickups, so ALL the parents and caregivers were angry/irritated at him.

To make matters worst, one of the disabled humans had accidently defecated in his alt-mode. He had to make a detour to the _Jasper Self-service Carwash_ to clean it out, shuddering at the offensive odour. He was hardly paying attention to his suroundings when suddenly his alt-mode was rammed hard.

"What gives?" Tony shouted in his new squeaky femme voice.

The green SUV that rammed him backed up, then took off without a word. Tony recognised his estranged sire immediately. Bulkhead and Breakdown had been bonded, sparking him and his brother during their many vorns together before the war.

When what he and his brother called _'The Incident'_ happened, they had fled the Autobots with their carrier Breakdown. Bulkhead had been caught and reprogrammed into a loyal Autobot, after he had tried to slow down pursuit so his family could escape. It still broke Tony's spark to know that his Sire no longer recognised him or his brother.

The young pimpled attendent of the carwash came out, "I have the incident on CCTV, and I even got the license plate. I've called the cops, but don't be surprised if nothing comes of it. That SUV has rammed several vehicles at this carwash, and the police never seem to catch him."

"Could I get a copy of the footage please?" Tony asked, trying to imitate a B-Grade movie damsel.

"Sure sweetheart, could I get your phone number?" The skinny attendant asked, giving his best smile, before heading back to his booth to copy the footage.

Shortly afterwards the attendant came out with a flashdrive and a piece of paper.

"I've given you everything from when you arrived, to when he left. Here's my number if you need anything, I'm James." James the carwash attendant said, smiling hopefully.

"Thanks James, here's my business card." Tony replied giving him a tired smile, "I'd better finish cleaning the human excrement off my rear seats now."

James made a hasty retreat at that, shutting himself back into his booth. The police duly arrived just as Tony finished the last of his cleaning.

"Good evening officers," Tony said politely, washing his holoform's hands and arms.

"Good evening Miss." One of the officers said politely.

"Heard you were rammed by another car," the other officer leered at her too tight uniform.

"I was washing the human effluent out of my interior, when I was rammed. The car was green and dirty. I didn't see the license plate though," Tony spoke carefully. "The attendant, James would have seen more, he recorded it on his CCTV. He said there have been other incidents"

"Yes Miss, but the make and model of the SUV is really common in Jasper, so we haven't been able to catch him yet, could we get your details please?" the pervy cop asked.

"I need to go report this to my boss, here's my business card. Its got my license number on it so you can get the rest of my particulars." Tony handed him the card.

The officers asked a few more questions, and Tony saw Bumblebee cruise past. The autobot hastily removed himself when he noticed the police officers talking to Tony though, Tony thought smugly. The polite officer noticed Bumblebee as well, and the officers were quickly in pursuit of the wayward yellow Urbana 500.

Tony took it as an opportunity to leave as well, carefully checking for cybertronian signatures as he took the long way back to HQ.

~000~

Soundwave was at HQ when he finally got back, which saved him having to give his report twice. He told them about the incident, especially mentioning how the local cops were hunting the Autobots for ramming cars at the carwash, and around the greater Jasper area. Soundwave nodded, taking the tiny human flashdrive into a servo.

Tony was given orders to cultivate the human attendant 'James' as a potential ally. Tony could see the amused looks from his fellow taxicons as Soundwave gave the orders.

Tony accompanied Soundwave back to the Nemesis, as he needed the medical bay for his injured rear spoiler. The silent Comms Officer gave Tony a data-packet with human courtship rituals, human psychology and sociology.

The thought of courting a fleshling revolted Tony, but Soundwave stated that they needed to use the advantage they had. He wasn't expected to interface with the human, just keep him friendly, and willing to tell the Decepticons any observations about the Autobots. The data-packet was given to prevent any cultural misunderstandings on Tony's part.

~000~

 **Author's Note:** For the purposes of this AU story, Megatron and Optimus are siblings. Apollo is the product of Optimus (Sire) and Starscream (Carrier), and was from a overcharged one-night-stand, from before he became Prime. Apollo initially sided with his Sire Optimus, but left the Autobots when Breakdown and his children did.

Tony/Toni and David are the children of Bulkhead (Sire) and Breakdown (Carrier), who were a bonded couple before the war. " _The Incident_ " caused Breakdown to flee the wreckers with his children. His son Tony's best friend Apollo, helped them escape and went with them. Apollo sought refuge with his uncle Megatron, and the newly outlawed Decepticons.

Please leave a review, and tell me what you think. I have a few ideas about where I want this story to go, but I'm fairly open to suggestions at this stage. I wanted to show some of the other aspects we don't see in the Prime series, including Soundwave's intelligence network. I also think that the Jasper Police might have felt more strongly about Autobots ramming other cars etc.

23/6: Just updated some spelling/grammer errors I missed the first time. Please leave me a review if you spot anything else I need to fix. I also decided to clarify a few points to make them easier to read.


	2. A New Voice

**Disclaimers:** See first chapter.

~000~

"Well now, I didn't expect to see you so soon," Knockout commented as he watched Toni shuffle into the Nemesis's Medbay.

"I got rammed by an Autobot," Toni said flatly.

"Looks like a replacement spoiler, and a repaint," Knockout commented, as he scanned Toni's injuries.

"Yeah, I was at the carwash after a fragging meatsack decided to loosen his waste outlet over my rear seats. My holoform had to scrub for almost an hour to remove the stench!" Toni grumbled, as Knockout directed him to a medical berth.

"How vile!" Knockout wrinkled his offactuary sensors at the thought.

Knockout quickly replaced the damaged spoiler, before directing Toni to the spray booth.

"Is it possible for me to have my old voice back to use when I'm not in holoform?" Toni asked, as he waited for his paint to dry.

"Possibly, but you'd need a second vocal processor. You're welcome to scavenge through the dead, but the vocalisers are usually wrecked by their dying screams," Knockout waved a careless hand at the storeroom full of greyed-out corpses.

Toni looked at the room in disgust. "What does it look like?"

Knockout gave Toni an odd look, then proceeded to send him a data packet with the relevant details, before handing him a saw and a laser scalpel.

~000~

It took three hours for Toni to dismantle all the vocalisers available. It reminded him of when Breakdown would bring home random parts for him and his brother to play with. Breakdown had silently handed him his evening ration earlier, before wrestling the unwanted parts back into the storeroom. Under Knockout's supervision, Toni had tested all fourteen vocalisers, before choosing least damaged pair for Knockout to use.

"I've got to say, I've never had a mech desperate enough to actually go through the corpses before," Knockout gave Toni a rare nod of respect.

"I'm fed up with squeaking when I talk. This way, only my holoform will squeak." Toni groused in his delicate soprano. "Besides, Carrier used to get us to strip parts when we were sparklings. Its processor-numbingly boring, but not too difficult. Hey Soundwave wants me to cultivate a squishy as an ally, could you work me up a set of 'off duty' clothes for Antonia?"

Toni could see Knockout's shoulderplates shuddering with supressed mirth, but the scarlet painted doctor made the relevant adjustments to the vocalisers before setting Toni up on the operating table.

~000~

When Tony onlined he promptly tested his vocaliser, satisfied to hear his familiar gruff tenor back, then quickly changing to Altmode he onlined his holoform. 'Antonia' the holoform sounded as she was supposed to, which was a relief after the work he had put in.

He also got to admire the two changes of human clothing Knockout had added. The first was a simple ensemble of acidwash jeans, a tight white tshirt and a black baseball jacket, with red doc martens. The second was a stylish, yet simple purple cocktail dress and evening jacket, with heels.

"Feel better kid?" Breakdown asked.

"Yeah Carrier, I don't think I could have stayed sane if I had to listen to that high pitched squeak coming out of my frame all the time." Toni smiled at his carrier as Breakdown approached with a buffer.

"Knock said once I've buffed all the scratches you managed to get from going through the storeroom, you'll be free to go." Breakdown commenced buffing his son's armor to a mirror shine.

There were some perks to Knockout's vanity. Tony and David usually had the best paintjobs of all the vehicons, as Knockout had made Breakdown practise his painting and buffing skills on his own creations before allowing Breakdown to touch Knockout's own paintjob.

~000~

 **Author's Note:** Sorry this is only a short filler chapter. Tony and David are medic's kids. I could imagine Breakdown getting them to disassemble broken parts to stop them driving him mad on rainy days.


	3. The Operation

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one. Mythbusters belongs to Jamie Hyneman and M5. FaceTime and PleaseDateMe are ficticious sites as far as I know.

Please excuse any spelling errors etc, as I'm currently waging a losing war with the Autocorrect function of my tablet. Everytime I think I've turned the wretched thing off, it turns itself back on somewhere else. Grrrrr..!

 **Authors Note:** My head-cannon on Cybertronian physiology means that both mechs and femmes can reproduce newsparks with the same or opposite gender. The diffrence in gender is more to do with whether they come with the carrying programming and sparkcarrying chambers pre-built or not. Also mechs carry twice as long as femmes with twice the risk of miscarrying.

~000~

 **Nemesis**

After his buffing session, Tony headed to the berthroom he shared with his forty eight fellow taxicons. Apollo had his own room, as was expected for an officer.

The room itself was barely enough to fit the two rows of twelve double-high cubicle recharge berths that lined the walls each side of the entry door, with just enough space to walk down the centre. A single window at the other end of the room looked out to the views of the planet below as the Nemesis continued its endless traverse over the planet called Earth.

Most of the cubicles were empty, with only a dozen occupied at this time of the cycle. Tony crawled into his cubicle as was just about to close his hatch when a servo tapped his pede.

"Hey Tone, you okay?" David asked his elder brother, concern showing on his faceplate.

"Yeah kid. It sucks slag that Sire doesn't remember us, but what can we do. Carrier left the Autoscum for a good reason. A reason that Sire once believed in, till Grandsire Hatchet reprogrammed him into a 'loyal Autobot' again. I can't believe that The Hatchet and Carrier are actually related sometimes." Tony replied.

"Yeah?" David encouraged his brother.

"Then again, out of nine creations, only the terror twins that Grandsire abandoned in Kaon, and Knockout's glitchy carrier Prowl were still Autobots. The rest knew better." Tony grinned at his younger brother.

"Really?" David looked eager to hear his brother share some family history.

Tony nodded, "I heard a rumour Grandsire had to reprogram Prowl after he murdered Prowl's Autobot bondmate Gavel, all for fixing a wounded Decepticon on the battlefield, and thats why Knockout joined the Decepticons, and thats why Prowl always glitches. Poor bot has half his memories corrupted by his crackpot Sire."

David let out a most un-Decepticonlike giggle, "Always wondered how a fleshy-loving bot like KO ended up in the Cons."

"Carrier once said Prowl should have been a heli-former with the way he used to hover over every little thing his only creation did. Its no wonder KO is such a rebel now he had finally found freedom in the Decepticons." Tony got himself comfortable in his berth.

David took the hint, and bid his brother good recharge, before closing the hatch for him. Giving himself a full body stretch, he slid himself into his own cubicle, sealing himself in before setting his entertainment unit to watch the rest of Mythbusters.

~000~

Elsewhere, Soundwave was doing his research on James the Carwash Attendent. His Facetime profile was fairly extensive, as was his PleaseDateMe profile.

XXX

Name: James Buchanan Moorhouse

Age: 21

Home address: 689 Moorhouse Avenue, Jasper, Nevada

Phone: 5556-9689

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 130 lbs

Father: Buchanan James Moorhouse (Mayor of Jasper)

Mother: Dr Heidi Sybil Moorhouse (Jasper Hospital)

Siblings: Sierra Ivy Moorhouse (Age 16), Jerome Michell Moorhouse (Age 11).

Marital Status: Single, and looking...

Workplace: Jasper Self-Service Carwash (3.5 years part-time).

Education: Currently studying at DeVry University at Las Vegas, doing a Bachelor of Technical Management with a Major in Small Business Management and Entreprenureship.

Interests: Technology, Drive-in Movies, Motorsport and Pop Culture.

Favourite Foods: Burgers, Tacos, Pizza and Pasta.

Favourite Movies: Terminator, The Matrix, The Stepford Wives.

Favourite TV: Mr Robot, Humans, Gundam.

Lifegoals: To own my own store selling Tech Pop-Culture products in my home town of Jasper.

XXX

Soundwave was elated that Tony had found them such a prized potential ally in the Mayor's eldest son. So many plans were being calculated through his secondary processors as he debated the best way to groom their newest asset.

James's range of interests amused Soundwave. James was going to either be delighted or terrified that his new 'love interest' was actually a twenty foot tall 'robot'.

To add extra additives to his oilcake, the younger sister Sierra was known to associated with the Autobot's pet, Jackson Darby.

~000~

 **Jasper** , **Moorhouse residence**

Laserbeak was less enthused as she was ordered to watch the Moorhouse residence. Docking was beginning to feel like a luxury to her, as it was so rare these days. She obediently flew towards Jasper, grimacing at the rare thunderstorm that was washing through Jasper as the groundbridge ejected her far above the town.

The Moorhouse mansion was the last house on the avenue named after the first family of Jasper. Ostentatiously set on fourteen acres at the edge of Jasper, the four storey building with it's wrap-around verandahs on the first two floors, was actually taller than Megatron. The third floor looked to be the children's floor, with the fourth floor appearing to be accomodations for human service drones.

Laserbeak sent her Carrier her first observations, and requested a set of blueprints for the buildings and access to the obvious electronic surveillance in place. Once she got her response, she was able to determine the best blindspots to observe from.

~000~

Laserbeak was bored, which never boded well. James had returned and sat at his computer until two in the morning studying for his Management Degree with Bulgarian Screech Metal playing in the backgound.

Sierra had a sleepover with her friend Mandy, and had spend until eleven o'clock discussing Jackson Darby, his physical attributes, and everything else they knew about him. The information was rather useless in Laserbeak's opinion, but she had duly noted it, and sent it off to her carrier once the girls finally went to sleep.

Jerome had gone to bed at nine thirty on the dot, after trying to build what looked like a remote controlled F15.

'Hmmm, Once he's finished building that thing, maybe I can gain entry to the house by posing as it. It looks fairly fast, and the full scale version is one of the fastest jets on this backwater excuse for organic rock.' Laserbeak mused, as she acessed the human's internet for the specifics on the toy.

After she had fully studied the plans, she commed Soundwave, " Hey Carrier, I have the opportunity to get inside the family undercover, the youngest kid has a remote controlled plane the right size for me to copy. I've checked the specs and it looks like quite a decent altmode actually. Fast, manuverable, and fairly common, at least common enough to be unnoticed flying around the neighbourhood. Can I please? Please?"

She could feel her carrier's amusment over the bond as he responded over their private channel, "Affirmative. Be warned the youngest Moorhouse human has contact with the youngest Autobot pet on an infrequent basis, use appropriate caution. Send details of new altmode."

Laserbeak sent the information and then snuck carefully through the blindspots until she got to the window. She scanned the toy, only to discover he had put it together wrong. Now grumpy that she couldn't try her new altmode out tonight, she slipped away from the mansion and requested a groundbridge back to the Nemesis.

~000~

 **Nemesis, Soundwave and Laserbeak's quarters**

"That kid's useless. He put the motor in backwards, " Laserbeak groused to her carrier, as she drank her energon while perched on a stack of datapads next to the cube.

"Laserbeak, Datapads unsuitable perch." Soundwave scolded his second creation, upturning an empty cube for her to use instead.

"Thanks Carrier. Sorry about the scratches." Laserbeak apologised, before resuming her refueling.

"Laserbeak required to buff out scratches while awaiting altmode's arrival. Additional copy of altmode ordered. Taxicon will deliver by 0900 human time," Soundwave told her as he finished his own energon ration, before rolling his shoulders and finally putting on his infamous visor.

Laserbeak watched her carrier leave before venting in dismay. She transformed her lower wings into arms and grabbed the minicon-sized buffer and began her punishment. You would think at thirty three vorns her carrier would treat her as an adult. She already had a fourteen vorn-old daughter for Primus sake!

It was 0914 when Breakdown's eldest creation brought her that toy. It was in a box with a bunch of tools and adhesives.

"Have fun assembing that Beaky!" Tony grinned as he placed it on the desk, "I heard some servant from the carwash human's accomodation unit say it was impossible to assemble correctly from the insructions. Carrier and KO won't touch it, so don't bother trying to take it to the medbay."

"Slag, thanks Tone. Decided how you're going to convince James to ask you out on a date?" Laserbeak suddenly had a processorwave, "Tell him you're into remote controlled planes. You can offer to show him your new F15 remote controlled plane. If he mentions his kid brother, tell him to invite the kid too. I might be able to use it to slip in and swap myself for the kid's F15 that way."

"Sure, send me everything you can on the hobby, so I don't sound pathetic, or should I say more pathetic talking about toy planes." Tony looked resigned to his new mission, "I gotta go find your carrier, I need more details on James so I can do my own research or him. I'm supposed to be a Decepticon Spy after all."

"You do that, maybe afterwards you can ask your carrier to zap Doc Darby's wheels, and pick her up if she calls for a cab home" Laserbeak suggested, "then you might be able to get some inside gossip to share with James's sister Sierra later. She's infatuated with the two-wheeler's pet squishy."

"Won't work unless the autoscum are well away from Jasper. The two wheeler lives with them." Tony replied, "Oh, and its Nurse Darby, not Doc Darby, she hasn't trained long enough to be a doctor."

"Slag, keep 'Operation Long Walk Home' in mind though. You never know when you might get a chance. Ask KO if he can build you guys better spark shielding. He's got the prototype, he's just too lazy to replicate it without incentives." Laserbeak told him as she peered into the open box.

"You think threatening to withhold all polishes and waxes until we get the upgrade will work?" Tony asked, amused that Laserbeak had been sneaking around the medbay yet again.

"Maybe not all polishes and waxes, just tell him you'll get him a set of the new fashion in car seat protectors. He's been telling Breakdown about wanting the new holovinyl trimmed ones for his trips planetside. They arrive in Las Vegas tonight." Laserbeaks optics twinkled with mirth.

"Thanks for the tip, I know a taxicon who owes me a favor. I'll send them," Tony smirked at the thought, "send me a datapacket with the details."

"Will do, now scat so I can build this thing in peace!" Laserbeak pointed a wing at the door.

Tony laughed and left her to her building.

After he left, she locked the door so that only her carrier could open it, before transforming her lower wings back into arms. Pulling up the schematics for the toy she analysed the parts and the began to construct the F15 toy.

~000~

It took her nearly the rest of the day to construct the slagging thing. She could see the logic of making her build it herself, as she needed to know this toy intimately in order to convince the eleven year old squishy that she was his toy.

Once it was complete she scanned it, and tried to transform into her new altmode, only to discover that she had dripped the adhesive called 'superglue' all over her pedes, effectively gluing herself to her carrier's desk.

Completely embarrassed, she send her distress over the bond, before privately comming her carrier, "Um...Carrier could you get some solvent from the medbay and bring it to me please?"

"Negative, send drone to retrieve solvent." Soundwave replied calmly.

"I locked the door so only you can open it. I can comm a drone to get the solvent, but only you can actually get in to give it to me," Soundwave's now mortified daughter admitted, "Please Carrier, I'm stuck to your desk and I can't get free."

Laserbeak felt a sudden burst of unconcealed amusement coming from her carrier, "Very well, I will be there shortly."

"Thanks Carrier, I can't believe I didn't notice the adhesive was dripping onto my pedes." Laserbeaks discomfort bled through their bond.

~000~

Soundwave's arrival ten breems later was met by a mournful chirp from his tearful and distraught daughter. By now she had managed to glue her left servo to the desk as well, after trying to use brute force to free herself.

It took about four breems to free Laserbeak from the desk and clean up the mess and Laserbeak. Laserbeak could see her Carrier's shaking shoulders and knew he thought it was hilarious. He inspected the completed toy and asked to see Laserbeak's new Alt.

She transformed smoothly, getting a feel for her new altmode. A couple of circuits of the berthroom allowed her to test it for manuverability. She decided to dock, which made Soundwave look a little odd, as her new paint scheme matched the toy rather than Soundwave. To his credit, even though he was laughing his aft off, Soundwave sent her waves of comfort over the bond. It took quite a few more breems for Soundwave to manage to regain his composure. He took the completed toy and sub-spaced it, before leaving for the groundbridge controlroom.

~000~

 **Nemesis, Groundbridge Controlroom**

The eradicon and vehicon on groundbridge duty looked askance as Soundwave entered, but quickly took an respectful position as Soundwave remotely entered the co-ordinates and opened the groundbridge.

After he went through they couldn't help looking at one another.

"What's with Beaky's new paint job?" Updraft asked Sunscorch.

"Dunno Draft, Carrier and Grandcarrier never tell me anything except that I'm too young to fight Autoscum yet." Sunscorch looked at the now closed Groundbridge, "One day Draft, they'll let me fight. I'm gonna be just as good as Grandcarrier one day."

"You'll get there one day Scorch. You just have to be patient. You are already the best fighter in the vehicon sparring matches. Soundwave's taught you well. You've got three more vorns of studies before you get sent to the frontlines, don't be in too much of a hurry. Learn everything you can before that, and maybe you won't end up like Breakdown's kids. Tony's servos only transform about half time time into what he wants, and David's stabilisers go out more often than he does. If your gran hadn't come up with the Taxicon network, they'd have both been scrap," Updraft consoled the glum teenager.

Updraft had been assigned the task of supervising and training Sunscorch into an effective Decepticon. She already could fight better than most veterans thanks to her Grandcarrier but Updraft tried to keep her as far from Megatron as he could though as she tended to be a little too sweet and softsparked for her own good.

Sure she could fight, but he secretly doubted she had it in her to actually kill anything. In his opinion, the longer she stayed away from the fighting the better for everyone. It would damage Soundwave's reputation if she failed to snuff an Autobot's spark when ordered.

She now knew most of the functions of the Nemesis, there were just a few more 'nice' things he could teach her before he had to ruin her innocence by teaching her interrogation and torture techniques. Updraft dreaded the task.

~000~

 **Taxicon Headquarters**

Apollo was just about to call for a groundbridge when Soundwave arrived.

"Soundwave, I've just got off the comm from Knockout. Apparently he's got a cloaking upgrade for us. He wants to test it on Tony first, as Tony's working undercover with the Mayor's son," Apollo spoke to favourite mentor respectfully.

"Excellent, I have both of Antonia's new toys. Laserbeak disengage," Soundwave said, using a mixture of different soundbites.

"Yo Ap, I'm ready to go...oops, Soundwave Sir, didn't notice you there...ummm..." Tony looked a mixture of uncomfortable and sheepish, as he quickly hid a set of holovinyl carseat covers he'd gotten from Apollo's office in his subspace.

Tony could see that Laserbeak was shaking with mirth at him, but he remained relatively calm, he'd fix the little glitch later. Coca Cola was very good at stripping engine parts, particularly small parts.

Soundwave gave Tony the toy plane, and he managed to stow it sucessfully. Sometimes his servo's shifted form at random times, which had been the case since Megatron had vented his anger on Tony, after Breakdown and Knockout had failed to retrieve some human tech from a military base four years ago.

The brutal beating had damaged both his T-cog and the control processor that told it what Tony wanted. Knockout and Breakdown had done their best, but both parts were extremely hard to replace, as they were protoform and highly individual to each mech, no matter what Megatron said about all vehicons being the same.

Being a vehicon often meant being a punching bag for their sometimes addled leader. If Starscream was able to escape and hide before Megatron noticed him, Megatron would simply beat the nearest vehicon he could find. He was kinder to the eradicons, but not by much. Megatron seriously hated grounders.

"Let's roll," Apollo said cheerfully.

Tony and Laserbeak both groaned quietly, while Soundwave simply nodded and opened a groundbridge back to the Nemesis.

~000~

 **Nemesis, Medbay**

"Ready Tony?" Knockout asked gleefully.

It always worried Tony when KO got like that. It usually resulted in much pain and very little gain.

"Sooner we get this done the sooner I can get planetside," Tony replied.

"See you on the other side!" Knockout quickly took Tony into medical stasis.

~000~

"Why didn't you tell him KO?" Breakdown asked, as he brought out a number of parts on a huge tray.

Most noticable of the parts was two triple-changer's T-Cogs, with their matching control processors, and the larger than normal cloaking array.

"I didn't want him to panic. We've both tested everything to the N'th degree, we're skilled medics, but we're going to be changing everything about him," Knockout replied as he began the operation.

Breakdown looked at his nephew and longtime friend, "Okay..."

"We're turning your eldest son into a multi-changer with two altmodes and two bot forms. When Tony wakes up, he's going to be both your eldest son and your only daughter in bot form to appeal to our newest asset. He's also going to have his Mobility Taxi mode and a Stylish second groundmode for off duty. He'll have as much subspace as I can possibly fit into his frame; a state-of-the-art cloaking array that no tech we know of can detect a spark reading from; a fake human signature to trick the autobots into believing he's a human, well, until he transforms; two different holoforms with matching voices; and the ability to ingest smallish amounts of organic fuels in holoform to further deceive the humans and autobots that he's a human. I've also upgraded both his holoforms with wardrobes of holoform clothing that the Mayor of Jasper and his trophy-wive would envy."

"He'll survive this right?" Breakdown looked a little uncertain.

"We tested this on that useless glitch Makeshift. This is my magnus opus, my master creation. You made him good, I'm making him incredible!" Knockout cooed, as he worked with a well practiced hand.

Knockout had tested all the components on Makeshift after his latest failure. Makeshift had survived, even without his famous T-cog, which Knockout was re-purposing for Tony. Makeshift now being a cleaning drone, serving the brig until Knockout had time to rebuild him back into a servicable vehicon.

He was confident in his work. His grandcarrier had been the famous medic that had trained the Hatchet, before foolishly falling in love with the glitch.

She had downloaded every medical technique and skill into her favourite grandcreation before sending out to that fateful battlefield. That download had saved both his life, and the lives of countless Decepticons over the vorns.

It had taken Knockout a long time to understand all of the data, but he had spent his entire medical career learning, just so he could do this one day, and perhaps train another medic after him in his family's techniques.

Knockout had been largely raised by his grandcarrier, with both his creators working to run the small settlement in the backwaters of Cybertron that the Autobots had assigned them to.

Grandcarrier was a direct descendent of Solus Prime, and had been a Prime in her own right, but having been born and raised on the backwater of pre-historic Earth, she felt it wrong to interfere in the civil unrest on Cybertron. Instead, she had eventually helped all the neutrals to escape Megatron to another world far from her original homeworld.

Megatron left her alone, as she was a powerful fighter, and had taught Megatron most of his earliest moves, before he had become a professional gladiator. She was one of the few bots Megatron actually respected, along with his fellow former gladiator Soundwave. Most of the femmes that survived were those under her formidable protection.

~000~

Tony was a little disorientated when he woke up to find his body completely changed. Instead of his usual yellow and white, he looked down to see a lithe femme body of nightsky blue. He screamed!

~000~

Breakdown came in and held him, or should I say her, "Calm down Tony, the operation was a sucess. Take a deep vent, then try to transform back into your usual form. Knockout rebuilt you into a mutliformer like your Grandcarrier. You have both mech and femme modes."

"Why! What did I do so wrong to deserve this?" Toni wailed.

"Nothing, Soundwave ordered that we do everything we knew how to make sure the Autobots wouldn't detect you. Now, if you need to, you can transform into a 'neutral femmebot', who knows, maybe you could infiltrate the Autobots one day" Breakdown tried to reassure his newly reformatted daughter, "You are now both Tony the Taxicon, and Nightsky the Neutral. I insisted that Knockout give you the capability to scan an airmode too later if you want."

"Nightsky?" Tony looked at her carrier uncertainly.

"We dubbed the project 'Hidden Night'. Your paint and your Altmode as a Skyline kinda inspired me. Its a carriers perogative to name their creations. It could be worse, I could have let Knockout name your new femme mode," Breakdown laughed at the memory of some of the outlandish suggestions that knockout had made during the surgery.

"Okay...Do I have to keep the skyline?" The newly renamed Nightsky asked.

"Not at all, I'd recommend a Jaguar if you can find one actually. The skyline was just what I scanned on the day we needed to get you an second altmode," Breakdown reassured his creation.

"When am I allowed up?" Nightsky asked.

"Once I can confirm that you can use all your new upgrades reliably. Probably a cycle or two then," Breakdown replied.

"Right, lets get on with it then," with that, Nightsky transformed back into Tony, venting in relief when the familiar yellow and white replaced the deep blue.

~000~

The pair worked for the rest of the two cycles on making sure that Tony, who now had a reliable T-cog once more, could use all his functions as a Taxicon, and showing him all the new features of his holoforms.

Breakdown also helped him change into Nightsky, and went over all the features and weapons of her new form. Nightsky had ninjabot and galdiator programming, with a selection of kunochi weapons at her disposal for close combat. It would probably take her vorns to actually learn how to fight with half of them effectively, but the programming was there as a start.

Knockout came and went during this period, mostly to check their progress and gloat over his sucess. He gave Nightsky data packs on how to behave like a femme and create a suitable backstory if she was forced to out herself as a cybertronian.

Soundwave also came in to provide Nightsky with a complete human identity. She would be partnered with Laserbeak for the mission, who had been given the cloaking and holoform upgrade as well. Soundwave didn't need to remind Nightsky not to use her femme form on the Nemesis. Megatron was unaware of the operation, and would probably kill her or worse.

~000~

 **Blackwater, Nevada**

Antonia looked at the stylish, but very empty farmhouse. Soundwave had 'purchased' it from a couple of city yuppies who had thought to be country farmers. They had built a beautiful six bedroom farmhouse on a hundred and sixty acres just out of the town. The property boasted a private airstrip and two large hangers. Unfortunately they had been overcommitted financially and had ended up being forced to sell at a mortgagee auction.

A freshly painted sign on the entry to the farm had declared it Night Sky Farm.

Larissa, Laserbeak's new holoform of a matching twelve-year-old girl happily opened and shut cupboards and doors and quickly decided which bedroom would be hers. Antonia groaned at the idea of being forced to tell people she was Larissa's older sister and guardian.

It had been Soundwaves idea to enable Laserbeak to interrorgate the younger Moorhouse. He had expanded on Laserbeak's earlier idea of inviting the Moorhouse brothers to play with remote controlled planes, but ordering Knockout to give Laserbeak a holoform that would hopefully appeal to both Jerome and hopefully the youngest Autobot pet.

Laserbeak had taken it in stride at the time, but now that her carrier was nowhere to be seen, she had decided to act her holoforms age.

"So when do I get to decorate my new room _Antonia?_ " Larissa asked, turning in circles in her new room.

"Soon as I figure..." Toni began, before hearing a semi in the driveway.

The pair of holoforms raced out the front door, only to see a moving truck with four humans.

"Hello?" Toni said warily.

"Miss Antonia Downs?" The apparent leader of the humans asked.

"Yes?" Toni replied.

"Please sign here. The boys and I will unload all your furniture. I'm sorry to hear from your parents that you and your sister lost everything. At least the insurance has given you new stuff for old," The removal man said in an understanding and comforting voice.

"Thank you, Larissa, please tell the movers where everything needs to go," Toni turned to her _sister_ ordering her to guide the workers.

With the help of the four humans, the pair soon had the house looking like a stylish home.

After the removal men had left, another truck arrived from Blackwater Foodmart, with a full complement of of frozen foods, longlife foods, and other necessary groceries for two human females.

The girls had just put that away, when another truck arrived bearing books to fill the numerous bookshelves the house now had. Those were put away as well, just in time for yet another truck.

The rest of the day continue like that until the property looked complete. The pair headed to the Taxicon HQ to refuel, then went to Blackwater mall to get some 'personal touches' to make their new safehouse feel like home.

~000~

Four days after the operation, Antonia called James.

~000~

 **Authors Note:** The taxicon's berths look like Japanese cubicle motel units. Each cubicle has a recharge berth, a entertainment unit, a direct energon ration line, and a sub-space storage unit for grooming supplies etc. Most Vehicons live in dorms of six hundred, so the taxicon's recharge room is actually the envy of rest of the vehicons.

A breem is 8.3 minutes.

For the purposes of this story, Ratchet is the father of nine, Harmony (N), Nightflash (N), Swindle (D), Breakdown (D), Thundercracker (D), Prowl (A), Barricade (D), Sideswipe (A), Sunstreaker (A).

Sunscorch is Laserbeak's 14 vorn-old daughter. Soundwave put her in a vehicon's frame when Megatron ordered all the femmes killed. She sounds like a mech, but her frame is still femme under her vehicon armor.

I managed to superglue myself to a surface (and to myself) once when I was a teenager. Not a pleasant way to spend an afternoon, it took a few hours of desperate soaking in solvent and careful prying to finally get the glue off. There were reminders of the incident on the desk for years afterwards. That stuff can be nasty, even if it is non-toxic.

To clear up confusion. Tony, Tone, Toni, Antonia, and Nightsky are all the same person. I will use Nightsky for her femme form, Antonia or Toni for her female human holoform. I will use Tony or Tone for his mech and male human holoform. When referring to him/her I'll use whichever name is appropriate to the situation and location.


	4. The First Date

**Disclaimers:** See chapter one. I don't own the Pearl Harbour movie either. I've never actually seen it, but the posters showed it had planes...

~000~

 **Jasper Self-Service Carwash, Jasper**

It had been a long slow day at the carwash. James had been asked to pull a double shift after the morning team member had gotten clipped by a car this morning on the way to work.

James' dad had been ranting about the illegal racing around Jasper for months. It wasn't just racing either, there were plenty of traffic incidents just everyday. James didn't know why there so many idiots on the road in their town.

The clock finally ticked over to 7:00pm, enabling James to flip the closed sign on the booth and lockdown all the hoses for the night. He had just finished when his cell phone started playing "uptown girl".

"Hello?" James answered, as he fished around for his car keys.

"Um..hi..is that James from the carwash?" A delicate voice asked.

"Yeah, what can I help you with?" James replied, as he tried to think of who this could be.

"Its Antonia, the taxi driver you helped after I got rammed at the carwash. I just wanted to thank you for your help that day, and...um...I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me and my sister at the KO Burger?" Antonia sounded nervous, as she quietly asked James out to dinner.

"Sure! I just need to head home and get changed first. I got splashed with cleaning products earlier today, so I definitely need a shower," James replied cheerfully, "How about we meet at 7:45pm. I can meet you and your sister at the KO Burger. Hey, there's a movie at the Drive-in Theatre at 8:45pm tonight. They're showing 'Pearl Harbour' tonight."

"Sounds good. I'll talk to Larissa about the movie, she's twelve, so she may not like it. Though if its got planes in it, she will probably insist on going anyway." Toni sounded amused.

"Cool, see you at 7:45pm at the KO Burger," James hung up, before quickly getting into his car and driving home as quickly as he legally could.

~000~

 **KO Burger, Jasper**

Tony and Laserbeak had refueled at HQ, before heading back to their safehouse to decide on what to wear for the date. After scanning through the database of holoform clothing, Toni had chosen a deep blue silk button-up blouse and form-fitting darkwash jeans. This was finished off with kneehigh brown leather boots and a matching leather jacket.

As they pulled into the carpark of the KO Burger, Toni noticed that the Autobot pet Darby was at the drive-in window.

"He look's bored out of his fragging mind", Larissa murmmured, as she straightened her mini-mouse dress.

"You would be too if you had his job." Toni replied, scanning the carpark for James, before getting out of her altmode and walking with Larissa into the fast food resturant.

~000~

"Welcome to KO Burger, can I take your order?" The equally bored looking teenager asked in a fake-cheerful voice.

"We'll order in a bit, we're just waiting for someone to arrive first," Toni responded, feeling for the first time out of her depth.

"Okay, just come back to the counter when your're ready to order," the server replied.

"Thanks, Larissa do you want to find us a table?" Toni gave Larissa a meaningful look.

"Oh...okay. Hey isn't that your date? He's got someone with him too," Larissa replied, watching as James seemed to be arguing with his younger siblings.

Toni followed Larissa's line of sight and saw that all three Moorhouse siblings seemed to be coming to dinner, "Better get a big table then."

~000~

James felt like tearing his hair out when he got home to discover that his parents had gone out and left him in charge of getting dinner for his siblings. It was cook's night off and most of the staff were out as well.

James told Sierra and Jerome he was taking them to the KO Burger and he was meeting someone at 7:45pm so they needed to get ready fast, before heading to his room to do the same. As it was, Sierra was complaining when he bundled his younger siblings into the car. They arrived at 7:53pm, not the best first impression on what he hoped would be his future girlfriend.

"Sorry I'm late, I got home and found out I had to babysit these two. I hope that's not a problem?" James looked into Toni's eyes hesitantly.

"Its fine, Larissa is finding us a table, I already know what she wants, so why don't we order. Otherwise we won't finish before the movie starts." Toni replied, understandingly.

"What movie?" Sierra demanded, before being firmly nudged by her elder brother.

A quick hushed argument later, and the Moorhouse family ordered their dinner. Toni got a lite salad and a bottle of springwater, and a kid's meal for Larissa, complete with toy.

~000~

Dinner went better than expected, with Jerome and Larissa doing most of the talking. Sierra sulked a bit before wandering off to flirt with the Darby boy.

Taking Larissa to the first date had been an excellent idea on Toni's part. It had removed much of the potential awkwardness on Toni's part, and had given them a common point of interest.

Once dinner was done, they corralled Sierra from making cow-eyes at Darby, and headed to the Drive-in. Toni had a secret moment of panic when the two-wheeler had shown up at the theatre, parking on the other side of James' car.

However, nothing happened, and James sat with her, while Sierra, spent most of the movie offering popcorn to Darby from the backseat of James' car, while Jerome and Larissa took up the front seats, enthusiastically whispering about planes.

~000~

 **Night Sky Farm, Blackwater**

"Well that went well," Tony commented once they finally got home. He'd quickly headed for the hanger, where he had swiftly changed out of his nightsky mode, back to his familiar Yellow and White.

"Yeah, Jerome's coming over tomorrow to play with his remote control plane." Laserbeak added, as she flew a couple of circuits of the hanger, to stretch her wings after being in holoform for hours.

"Lets grab a groundbridge back to the Nemesis. I figure your carrier will want a full debrief," Tony said, before comming the Nemesis for a groundbridge.

The groundbridge opened and the pair headed through.

~000~

 **The Nemesis**

The pair gave their report to Soundwave before Tony headed to his berthroom for recharge.

Laserbeak was heading back to her shared quarters with Soundwave when she saw David collapsed in a side hallway.

"Sheesh Davy, your stabilisers given up again?" Laserbeak commented, as she commed Breakdown to collect his offspring from the uncomfortable heap of metal he was in.

"Yeah Beaky, I've been trying for the past five breems to get them to reboot. I think they've finally had it." David groaned in agony, as he tried yet again to stand.

"Sit tight, Breakdown's on his way," Laserbeak told the miserable vehicon.

~000~

 **Medbay, Nemesis**

Breakdown duly arrived and hauled his creation into the medbay.

"Stabilisers again?" Knockout asked as he scanned the vehicon once he arrived in the medbay.

"Yeah," David replied, trying not to scream as Knockout began to manipulate his stabilisers.

"You need a full replacement. Your're in luck. We decided you would be the next for an upgrade, so I have the parts ready. It won't be as flash as Tony's, but you'll have a new cloaking array and working limbs," Knockout said.

"Do it! I can't live like this anymore," came David's emphatic response.

~000~

David's upgrade was much faster than Tony's had been. He'd been given the new cloaking array, much sturdier struts and stabilisers in his lower body, and extra subspace.

What he hadn't been happy about was the new female holoform, though Breakdown had told him that he could switch between the two holoforms at will.

They had learnt their lesson with Tony, to allow the vehicons to keep their previous holoforms in addition to adding a female holoform.

~000~

 **Author's Note**

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been running low on inspiration lately. Haven't proofread this, so if you spot something let me know.


End file.
